Image by Jake Weirick

Couples Coaching

“The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships.” 

- Esther Perel
 

Couples Coaching

Falling in love may feel involuntary, but staying in love is a choice. In couples coaching we work to develop a proactive partnership philosophy. Proactive partnership is an expression I use to describe the daily practice of intentionally turning towards your partner, working to build a strong foundation, and designing more joy, romance, and intimacy into your relationship. Instead of waiting for shit to hit the fan, I believe it's better to invest in your partnership upfront.  

 

Just a few of the techniques and ideas we will explore together include:

  • How to have a stress-reducing conversation

  • How to have more productive conflict

  • How to build sustainable fondness and admiration systems

  • How to honor one-another's dreams without feeling threatened or stifled 

  • The tradeoff between intimacy and desire and how to harness the paradox

  • Love languages

  • Attachment styles

 

How Couples Coaching Works

Stage 1: The Assessment

Couples Coaching begins with a comprehensive assessment consisting of 3 separate sessions. In this stage, we'll identify your relationship's areas of strength and weakness. Once completed, I'll present you with a coaching plan tailor-made to your relationship's needs! 

Stage 2: Session Work

Coaching Game-Plan

After reviewing your assessment, I'll design a game-plan with exercises and frameworks designed to treat your relationship's specific needs. In each session, I strive to offer techniques to better manage conflict AND joyful experiences to foster friendship and intimacy. Effective couples coaching requires both elements. 

Managing Conflict

There's no such thing as a couple without conflict. The trick is learning how to manage it. As a trained observer, I will also help you identify and buck bad conflict habits that lead to escalation. Furthermore, I'll introduced research-backed strategies, like the "soft start-up" or repair attempts,  to build out your conflict management toolset.

No matter how skillful you are at managing conflict, your partnership is only as strong as your friendship. In every session I will offer at least one exercise designed specifically to bolster your partnership's friendship by cultivating joy, creativity, intimacy, and desire. Proactive Partnership means designing positivity into your relationship every day. 

Friendship, Intimacy, & Desire

Stage 3: Application & Maintenance 

As we approach the end of our coaching game-plan, you and your partner will feel more and more empowered to manage conflict as it arises and design joy and adventure into your partnership, ensuring the strength of your connection. We will progressively decrease the frequency of our sessions until you both feel ready to move to an ad-hoc coaching cadence as maintenance or refreshers are needed.